Recently I was privileged to be a part of a friend’s 50th birthday party. The party was bittersweet because her mother had just passed away a couple days earlier and while all her friends wanted to give her time to grieve, we also wanted to celebrate the amazing woman she is. During the dinner the birthday girl said something that just really stuck with me. She said that each person was invited because each of us showed up for her, and sometimes when she didn’t even know she needed someone to show up. Like I said, her statement just stuck with me.
The past year has been heartbreaking for me, in so many ways. During that time I have watched as people who I thought would show up fade from my inner circle, while others stepped up and showed up for me in ways I didn’t know I needed. Don’t get me wrong, the people that didn’t show up are not bad people. They aren’t bad friends, selfish or fair-weather friends. Most just had so much going on in their life that they didn’t have the time or energy to show up, which is so understandable. I’m sure I have friends that are sad because I haven’t been able to show up for them.
And showing up isn’t some grand gesture that you would read in a romance book. Showing up looks like:
- Inviting a friend over for a home made dinner
- Making your monthly Red Robin girls dinner a priority
- Sending a card. Like actually sending it through snail mail. It’s amazing how much that can make someone’s day.
- Dropping by a friend’s house just to give them a hug
- Arranging dinner to be delivered when you know their schedule is not going to allow for a home made meal
- Asking to drop by to sit and pray with them
- Sending them a written prayer
- Making something for them.
- Sitting with them in their despair, sadness, grief, anger, etc. and just allowing them to feel what they need to feel
How have people showed up for you?