Grief has been compared to everything but the kitchen sink.  Even with all the analogies available, the blogs posted, the sermons given, unless you have walked with grief, allowed yourself to feel all the pain, you still won’t understand the depth of pain that many of us wake up with every day.  How I process through my grief looks vastly different than how Ava, Jodi, Debbie, Becky, Jessica, Glenda, Shellee, Sam, Angie and Jenny process their grief.  I know without a doubt that I wouldn’t be able to pull myself back up from the pits of grief without my daughter and those wonderful amazing friends in my life.  Without my circle of friends it would be too easy to isolate myself from living, not deal with the emotions of grief and lose sight on how much God loves me.

This weekend I had the privilege of experiencing the love of God through an extremely uncomfortable and deeply painful event.  Many tears were shed mostly due to the pain of being erased from someone’s life so easily that it made me wonder if I was ever valued by them.  But two things happened that were totally unexpected and totally God. 

One, someone who will never understand how much it meant to me, acknowledged my presence in his life and thanked me for supporting his family.  I was seen instead of rejected and it felt like God’s arms were wrapping around me with his words. 

Two, I had planned on going to this event alone, but Shellee and Sam wanted to come with me and eventually I agreed, which was truly the right decision.  Shelle and Sam sat with me in the uncomfort.  It might not sound like much to some people, but knowing you have people who are willing to sit in the rejection, the pain, the hollowness and hopelessness and just let you grieve is a priceless gift. 

The icing on the cake was being able to sit with Debbie on her back deck and listen to her speak the gospel and scripture into my heart and soul.  She filled my cup by speaking truth with grace and compassion. 

It’s not about the grief we go through each day, it’s about the people who show up to battle our grief with us.  My inner circle does not allow me to isolate, speak ill of myself or take my eyes off Jesus.  Grief might show up every day, but so do my girls decked out in the Armor of God, with the sword of the spirit ready to speak Truth without apologies.